Article recovered from archives of my old blog originally written on the 11th of June 2019. This article captures what the old me called a ‘journal entry’ and it is a fascinating time capsule of who I was at the time and what I was grappling with in my mind.
Over the last month, I have had several requests from my mentor to watch the film of the book, Zorba the Greek, originally written by Nikos Kazantzakis on January 1, 1946. This evening, I watched the film from start to finish, which if you know me is impressive due to the fact it is 142 minutes long.
What is Zorba the Greek?
IMDB:
An aimless English writer finds he has a small inheritance on a Greek island. His joyless existence is disturbed when he meets Zorba, a middle aged Greek with a real lust for life. As he discovers the earthy pleasures of Greece, the Englishman finds his view on life changing.
What did I think of Zorba?
For me, a Gen Z of whom the oldest film I’ve watched was likely Star Wars, it was always going to be an experience watching a black and white drama set in Greece. I paid close attention to every second of this film, unlike I do with most, due to the importance my mentor had mentioned it would bring. It was suggested as a necessary watch for me due to the beauty that is found within the main character’s existential challenges and thoughts; which is reflective of my current situation.
The movie is a beautiful piece of art which encapsulates Greek culture, dance as an expression of emotion and energy, the challenge of existential thoughts and depression and the general question of ‘how can I be happy?’
I felt once more how simple and frugal a thing is happiness: a glass of wine, a roast chestnut, a wretched little brazier, the sound of the sea. Nothing else.
Zorba the Greek is a film about life. How does one live it? How does one deal with the vicissitudes, challenges and struggles of it. Does one simply stand to the side, watching it from afar, or does one jump into the unknown and do their best to ‘live’?
Look, one day I had gone to a little village. An old grandfather of ninety was busy planting an almond tree. ‘What, grandfather!’ I exclaimed. ‘Planting an almond tree?’ And he, bent as he was, turned around and said: ‘My son, I carry on as if I should never die.’ I replied: ‘And I carry on as if I was going to die any minute.’
The character of Zorba is the voice in our head that reassures us, advises us of the good and gives us hope and optimism. Not in a comforting way, but a happily challenging way.
And, when everything you’ve ever wanted or worked towards comes crashing down at your feet (as it does for Basil, in the film), what do you do, then? Dance. Dance as hard and as wild as you can. The film ends with Basil asking Zorba to teach him how to dance after their mining venture literally collapses at their feet. With a look of surprise, the spirited Zorba responds with the words: “Dance? Did you say, ‘Dance’?!” And the story famously ends with both men dancing enthusiastically on the beach.
Come on, my boy, together.
When everything goes wrong, what a joy to test your soul and see if it has endurance and courage! An invisible and all-powerful enemy—some call him God, others the Devil, seem to rush upon us to destroy us; but we are not destroyed.
Zorba the Greek is a piece of art that reminds us all of the beauty in just “being” and “doing”.
This film encapsulates (perhaps unknowingly) a stoic philosophy. It displays a trip back in time, when the material western world had no hold on our minds. When things were simple. If a beautiful woman wants you, you go to her. When it was an insult to life and the gods not to.
For I realize today that it is a mortal sin to violate the great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the eternal rhythm.
Yes, I genuinely believe that it will. I hope that when my mine comes crashing down in front of me, I have the courage to dance.
I am learning that life is beautiful and a piece of art, and to do anything other than live it is a sin.
Life is trouble. Only death is not. To be alive is to undo your belt and look for trouble.
– Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis.
I am learning that work is beautiful and a piece of art, and to do anything other than what you love is a sin.
This is true happiness: to have no ambition and to work like a horse as if you had every ambition. To live far from men, not to need them and yet to love them. To have the stars above, the land to your left and the sea to your right and to realise of a sudden that in your heart, life has accomplished its final miracle: it has become a fairy tale.
– Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis.
I am learning that it is okay to feel different, crazy and mad. It is okay to be a round peg in a square hole and to do anything other than be yourself is a sin.
You have everything but one thing: madness. A man needs a little madness or else – he never dares cut the rope and be free.
Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis.
I am learning that happiness stems from a place of balance and equanimity. That the candle shouldn’t be burnt from both ends. That it is okay to sprint, but it is crucial to stop, breathe and reflect. To do anything other than this is a sin.
All those who actually live the mysteries of life haven’t the time to write, and all those who have the time don’t live them! D’you see?
– Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis.
I am learning to not spend my energy thinking about why other people are a certain way and do or think certain things. I’m learning that I can only make a difference by questioning myself, and to do anything other than this is a sin.
Let people be, boss; don’t open their eyes. And supposing you did, what’d they see? Their misery! Leave their eyes closed, boss, and let them go on dreaming!
– Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis.
Above everything, I am learning to be happy. Also, that sinning isn’t that much of a problem. Just live!
Jeffrey Mishlove, the interviewer, begins by stating that
there are so many aspects of society that are discordant. The rush on the freeways, the deterioation of our cities and infrastructure, the decay around is in the environment and the pollution. Yet, in the middle of all of this there’s something awesomely beautiful…
David Whyte:
Erm, I mean, life has always been difficult. It’s now collectively difficult across the whole planet.
I think we all realize in some ways that the game is up as far as our delusions about how you can live your lives.
Because the larger picture is there for us facing us all the time and this is exactly what’s happening in the corporate world now. There’s a tremendous thirst. You can go into any company. It doesn’t matter who. It can be Ford Motor Company or Stanford University. Any organisation.
People are desperate and they’re dying on their feet in a way and they want to know what happened to their lives.
And how they can how they can move into something that’s more satisfying and more real and more alive above all.
This is where poetry is enermously succesful. As – usually, in a room full of engineers let’s say, the more you talk about prescious experiences – the more they go away. But with poetry, which isn’t about a subject or experience but is the experience itself – you can create the experience in the room.
So, you can say that organisations and you yourselves as work teams are asking for change – creative change. This is not new. Human beings have been asking themselves this question for thousands of years for millenia.
Many of them have been good poets and have left things that have outlived them – immortal. They’re immortal because they speak to human beings from every generation.
So, here are some of the steps along the path, and the amazing thing is is that the steps are very precise.
If you want to start on the path, for instance, you say “what does it really mean to have really radical change in an organization?
In the middle of the road of my life i awoke in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost.
how do you know that you’re on your path?
Because it disappears, that’s how you know.
How do you know that you’re really doing something radical?
Because you can’t see where you’re going, that’s how.
Everything you have lent on for your identity has gone and so you are going to enter the the black contemplative splendors of self-doubt at the same time as you are setting out on this radical new path.
"You’re suggesting that dante provides a road map for us in some sense?"
Jeffrey Mishlove
it certainly does yes in many stages of the way. It was called the divine comedia because it is absolutely an astonishing road map of life but many other poets have left footprints in the snow that you can follow.
"i know one book of poetry describes it as poets are the technicians of the sacred…"
Jeffrey Mishlove
yes that’s right and with that first stage of entering the dark wood – there’s a marvelous poem by David Wagoner (as the chair of poetry at the University of Washington) called Lost and it’s a teaching story from the northwest indian teaching tradition and it’s a story that would be told to a young boy or girl that would ask the question ‘what do I do when I’m lost in the forest?’ This was a life and death situation in a cedar forest – you need to know where you are.
The question of what do you do when you’re lost and the need to know where you are are equally true for a middle manager in an organisation or for a street kid in Philadelphia.
Here’s the answer that the eldar gives:
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here, And you must treat it as a powerful stranger, Must ask permission to know it and be known. The forest breathes. Listen. It answers, I have made this place around you. If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here. No two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows Where you are. You must let it find you. David Wagoner, (1999)
You can say there are three things in this that are absolutely clear:
first of all the elder says you cannot sleepwalk your way into your destiny, you must wake up and pay attention.
Stand still, you know the trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost – you must pay attention.
That means paying attention to the shadow sides of your existence, too.
You must pay attention to everything you’ve given away in order to make yourself safe – in your position at work, all the games you play in order to remain safe and untouched, as well as your creative gifts too -you must pay attention to those also.
The second stage is that, in this in this teaching from the elders is this incredible feeling of silence.
That, unless you have this silence in your life and you feel the silence in the poem where it says:
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here. No two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, You are surely lost.
Do you feel the silence there? you’re almost under that cedar canopy…
I think what the elder is saying there is that, if you pay real attention — unless you
have an ability for silence in your body to do that then you will get too frightened — because all the voices inside you will drown out any real change, they’ll have a hundred reasons not to make any real change, you see – as you’ve got all the voices and all the reasons not to do it.
So, the ability for profound silence is being called on here and then that attention can flower
into something else.
Because you really don’t know what your grief is. If you do feel grief about your
workplace – you really don’t know what’s underneath that grief until you fall into it.
"the poem seems to be attempting to awaken a kind of intuitive sense?"
Jeffrey Mishlove
That’s right.
And then the amazing last line
The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you.
This is astonishing because in the zen tradition they say if you go out and confirm the ten thousand things – this is delusion. If the ten thousand things come and confirm to you – this is enlightenment.
See, the salish elders in the northwest were saying the same thing!
The forest knows
Where you are.
You must
let it
find you.
Neurodiverse burnout is a state of physical and mental fatigue, heightened stress, and diminished capacity to manage life skills, sensory input, and/or social interactions, which comes from years of being severely overtaxed by the strain of trying to live up to demands that are out of sync with our needs.
What, upon reflection, have I noticed can cause burnout, for me personally?
Too many ‘hurdles’ to entry with tasks and projects.
Social conflicts.
The negative states and/or emotions of my peers.
Environmental changes.
Feeling as if I have to be the ‘pack leader’ constantly in social groups where everything from organisational to emotional management is reliant on me.
Too much pressure on myself.
Too much importance given to social sources i.e. social media, meetings, comparisons.
Lack of personal or external acknowledgement for the work I do.
What does burnout actually look like for me?
Burnout is the definition of death. It’s giving up and not wanting to do anything more. Schopenhauer defined life by something that tries to effect it’s environment. It’s change. That’s a living organism.
So if you feel you can’t change your environment you give up. Burnout is learned helplessness because you lose hope in your desired outcome.
How will I attempt to manage this cycle now I am aware of it?
Burnout management
Organise:
Create and organise consistent energy and momentum around me that does not rely on my input.
Administrate:
Important to not overload my plate and stay on top of my feelings of my ‘now’ and ‘not now’.
Monitor:
Continual assessments of the feelings and effects of the plates I have organised to spin.
Burnout recovery
Responsibility:
Recognise my signs of burn out, acknowledging it as my current state and accepting that it is fine and part of my process of experiencing and existing.
Audit:
Take a look over my circumstances, environment and plates that I am spinning. Discern, diagnose and dictate the next steps by stripping back to the basics based on what really matters, what I enjoy and what my circumstances really require.
Recover:
Relax but only if I can do so without feeling bad about it. If I can’t and the reason is superficial: kill it. If I can’t and the reason is reasonable, adjust and align with a usual routine to then move onto purposeful recovery relaxation once the required routine is completed and out of the way.
Burnout’s traditional symptoms and ADHD specific ones I found across the web:
Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion.
Increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job.
Reduced professional efficacy.
Anxiety
Depression
Decreased motivation
Guilt
Trouble concentrating
Irritability
Difficulty regulating emotions
Low self-esteem
Challenges at work or school
You no longer take interest or pleasure in your normal activities and you see allies (like co-workers) as enemies who are burdening you with more and more work.
You likely withdraw from everything because you believe it’s impossible to get things done.
ADHD burnout is a specific kind of burnout as “people with ADHD work harder to do the things most people do with little effort.” Imagine yourself on an interactive exercise bicycle – you pedal faster and faster to try to keep up with others, your heart rate hits its peak and you can’t pedal any harder. But, even your best isn’t good enough and you fall behind the standard of others. – David Goodman
Certain life changes can ignite burnout.
Other problems specific to people with ADHD also add fuel to burnout. “ADHDers experience something called ‘hyperfocus,’ periods of time in which we are transfixed and fully focused on a subject or project. These periods can last from hours to days and we often neglect taking care of ourselves when we are hyper focused. We don’t eat right, sleep well, etc. This often leads us to burnout more quickly,”
How can you prevent burnout based on what I’ve found across the web?
Learn how to relax and not feel bad about it “lets rest” – “No, I must do more”. Don’t feel guilty about taking a breather. People with ADHD spend their whole lives being told that they aren’t trying hard enough. As a result, they often push themselves as hard as possible, Meeks says. “Resting feels ‘lazy,’ a word that has been used against us like a weapon for most of our lives.”
Know your limits. Some people think they can pile it all on their plate and carry it even though it’s dripping off the plate, Goodman says. You need to face the fact that your expectations sometimes go beyond what you can actually do.
Prioritise. “You won’t be able to juggle 12 balls at once,” Goodman says. You need to pick six that you can juggle well and the other six need to be put to the side until you have more time for them. Setting priorities is difficult for people with ADHD. “It’s either I need to do it now or if it’s not due yesterday it doesn’t need to be done until tomorrow. The problem is something comes up tomorrow that’s urgent and that’s how things mount up.”
Just say “no.” People with ADHD often are people pleasers, have a hard time saying no, and overcommit themselves, Meeks says. “Practice saying no and not feeling guilty about it. The people in our lives should be understanding of the need to keep ourselves safe and healthy,” she adds.
If it’s broken, fix it. If your ADHD symptoms seem out of control, talk to your doctor. You may need to add or change medication or learn better organization and time-management skills. This can help you get through your days with fewer stumbling blocks and more confidence.
What does ADHD and depression look like?
What does depression and autistic burnout look like?
This short essay is an exploration of beliefs and actions: what they are, how they are metaphysically connected and how you cannot eat the cherry without the cake but when the cake is left without its cherry it becomes rotten.
The exploration was one I felt compelled to embark on. My motor-pulling brain’s cable car was propelled into action after Chris Williams, on the Modern Wisdom podcast asked his guest and NYT bestselling author Lewis Howes the question “Do you think belief or action comes first?”
They ultimately conclude, during their one-hour 21-minute discussion on self-doubt that:
You can’t believe without acting, that’s delusional.
You can act without believing, that’s attempting with a goal and some degree of hope.
However, a large proportion of people that do indeed continuously act, do not achieve any belief in themselves. Acting despite not achieving this then becomes a toxic process. As acting becomes a method of aiming to gain your own approval and backing, despite you never being able to achieve it this way and something you don’t even need to accomplish. When it gets like this – why even act? You may as well just go and be lazy – you’d experience the same pain but reap the benefits of comfort.
Under the bonnet of my cognitive process
As a tangent and taking a few steps back, do you want the origins story of this exploration, from post-podcast Ronnie, to pre-podcast Ronnie’s curiosity process that occurred? Of course, you don’t – it’s not like you asked or anything, but I have written it anyway. Here’s the recap of events:
Step one:
Began listening to the podcast.
Step two:
Managed a grand total of 27 minutes before the flashlight which is my motivation and attention resources point solely on one question and response in the said podcast.
Step three:
My neurodiverse brain lights up, being that of a generally neurotic person who often doubts himself and is currently in the ‘messy middle’ (to quote Scott Belsky, author, entrepreneur, investor, Chief Strategy Officer of Adobe and formerly CEO and founder of Behance) of a new venture.
Step four:
Thinking it has the potential to be aware of and understand a solution or new piece of wisdom that can fix a current ‘bug’ in my internal coding, my brain rallies its entire workforce to focus all manpower in the curiosity department, causing my dopamine levels to go through the roof from the connection my brain has made with the same meaning and fashion as Roald Dahl’s (don’t worry, I am not rewriting any of his work) glass elevator in the chocolate factory. For anyone unfamiliar with Charlie Bucket and his chocolate-loving pal, Willy Wonka, the glass elevator in his chocolate factory they ultimately used to explore space (I know, I didn’t write it…) doesn’t just literally move Charlie but also figuratively transports him out of his humdrum existence and constant state of ennui into one of fascination and wonder.
I begin exploring everything I have ever known, felt or experienced regarding this newfound interest in actions and beliefs.
Step six:
I experience an instant and tension-relieving paradigm shift due to my findings on this exploration and, to understand the newly created paradigm, my brain conjures up the image of a cherry (being: belief) and a cake (being: action) with the analogy attached to it – ‘Action is the cake that goes rotten without its cherry on top’.
Step seven:
I completely understand that without finding a way to believe in yourself, acting is ‘rotten’ and ultimately not even a helpful thing to do. As Howes says, ‘why are you even working hard then if everything you do proves nothing to yourself? You may as well just be lazy.’
Step eight:
Providing continual compassion and credit to yourself as you are acting, and bringing that with you along in life in a ‘belief backpack’ wherever you go, is the key.
You don’t become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are.
– Alex Hormozi
Having confidence in your ability to do something without having competence is mere delusion. On the other side of the coin, having competence in something without any confidence is simply imposter adaptation, meaning: you know you’re an imposter in what you are doing, you have to be as it is new to you, but you aim to push your boulder up your hill in spite of this, as you’re aware that when you look back for the first time and see you actually achieved some distance with a god-damn boulder, you’ll actually be confident that you can do it, as you just saw that you did indeed do it.
The issue comes after your use of imposter adaptation.
After you have completed the below process:
adapted
pushed with spite
absorbed the feedback loop displaying that you can do it again next time
rested because, at the end of the day, it’s a god-damn boulder
The next day, when you go to find the boulder you left the day before, whether it’s at the bottom of the hill and you are actually Sisyphus (if you’re reading this Sisyphus, keep up the good work) or you managed to leave it in a safe space (no, not the 2023 meaning of safe space where your feelings are valid but safe space in the primal meaning whereby you know for absolute certain no one is going to steal your boulder) – and you begin to approach your boulder with the same anxious and unsure nature that you operated with before you knew it was possible – ask yourself this:
You’ve proven to yourself you can do it – what is your mind’s obsession with believing you still can’t?
– Me, but I wanted to highlight it
Why would our brain (or us, with our brains) do this?
We know that the strategies that got us ‘here’ work, as we got there.
Here: being our current moment, doing whatever we are doing and being whoever we are being
and strategies: being absolutely anything and everything we ever did that got you ‘here’ that you usually scrutinize in the internal tape recordings you store of yourself – that is usually inherently wrong in memory but that’s an exploration for another day
Yes, we know those strategies work as we got to ‘there’.
But, perhaps the issue lies with those of us who are inclined to be generally higher in neuroticism or tend to analyse and worry about anything as a baseline. Maybe we are simply doomed to perpetually and insurmountably doubt that those same strategies will get us to our next place.
Next place: Being whoever we want to ‘become’ (usually a flawed pursuit anyway) and doing so away from wherever we are not finding happiness (because you are always wanting to be somewhere else).
Although, I doubt you could go wrong if you, as a rule-of-thumb, strive to reject that defeatist hypothesis and instead believe that our self-doubt and belief problems are actually surmountable and are merely a plethora of poorly-written paradigms that can be re-written if you only knew there was a more enjoyable way to function.
On the 14th of November, 2022, a documentary directed by Jonah Hill was published by Netflix on the life and psychiatric methods of the world-leading therapist, Phil Stutz.
This was not a typical Jonah Hill movie where he crawls on all fours for a significant amount of time, drooling and mumbling with rounded spectacles and Leonardo Dicaprio in the background.
Instead, Jonah Hill felt compelled to direct and create this movie which is, in fact, a simple documentary and interview ultimately gaining Stutz a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and
What is “Stutz” on Netflix about?
The synopsis of “Stutz” is that Phil Stutz with over four decades of experience in psychiatric therapy had Jonah Hill as a patient for several years. Those years were so beneficial to Hill that he believed the world needed to hear the story of his therapist and have the privilege of learning his tools and teachings. too.
Stutz is what I call a good therapist. Simply: a modern psychologist that focuses on working on the patient’s problems, and ensuring progress in the patient’s ability to cope with them. As opposed to working with the patient and making them and their problems feel ‘heard’.
Hill asked Stutz what the first thing he asks a patient is:
Why are you here and what do you want?
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Stutz comments that the average shrink will say ‘do not interrupt the patient’s process, they will come up with the answers when they are ready.’
That sucks. That is not acceptable. When I got into psychiatry the philosophy was to be neutral, to not have a dog in the fight. That’s a slow process and it involves a lot of suffering. If you know me – my reaction to that was ‘go fuck yourself, are you kidding me?’
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Stutz follows this up by explaining his own approach, which I love, and believe most who suffer from real mental illness and have sought after therapy in their past and didn’t get the help they wanted will love, too.
If I am dealing with someone with severe depression I tell them to do exactly what the fuck I tell you. Do exactly what I tell you. I guarentee you, 100%, you will feel better. That is on me.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Jonah Hill replies with:
When I first sat down in therapy with you, you were like ‘here is exactly what you should do’. You gave me exact and instant actions and tools.
– Jonah Hill | “Stutz”
It’s imperative. I wanted speed. Not speed to cure this in a week. That’s impossible. I wanted them to feel some change. Some forward motion. It gives them hope. It’s like ‘oh shit this is actually possible!’
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Jonah Hill humorously noted that:
people want therapy to tell them how to fix their shit and their friends just to listen. Instead, therapists just listen and their friends tell them how to fix their shit when all you want is for them to listen!
– Jonah Hill | “Stutz”
Stutz was adamant in his ‘anti-passive’ approach to aiding patients and even believed that, in order for therapy to work for the patient, they need to be instructed, led, and given ‘tools’ in order to see as much progress as possible in as little time as possible.
The reasoning behind this was that, if you see quick progress from therapy, you gain motivation, which in turn becomes momentum.
Completely logical, of course. However, most therapy is simply a sit-down, open up and be-listened-to form of therapy. As opposed to a sit-down-open-up-be-told-what-that-means-and-what-to do-about-it form of therapy. The latter is, in fact, therapy. The former is simply a one-way conversation with an incredibly qualified psychotherapist with dozens of useful arms – in a straight jacket.
For Stutz to be effective in his aims of being effective, he shares what he calls his ‘tools’.
What are Phil Stutz’s tools he uses in therapy?
A tool is something that can change your state, your inner state, immediately, in real-time. It takes an experience that is usually unpleasant and turns it into an opportunity.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Jonah Hill, who was taught these tools and used them for several years in therapy with Phil Stutz comments that:
Stutz’s tools change your mood and then give you a sense of hope that that won’t be your mood forever. It’s basically a real-time visualisation exercise that you do in your head at that moment.
– Jonah Hill | “Stutz”
On his tools, Stutz says
It’s not that shrinks don’t want to help you, it really isn’t. I just always felt that something was missing. Tools, for me, are the bridge between what you realise the problem is and the cause of that problem to then actually gain some control over the symptom. It all has to do with possibility. Not a bullshit definition of possibility, though. Possibility means that you genuinely feel yourself reacting differently. It sounds trite but it is actually the truth.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number one: your Life Force
According to Stutz, the classic thing that happens when someone depressed visits him in therapy is that they say something along the lines of
I know my habits are shit. I know I am undisciplined and lazy. But if only I knew what I had to do – what my life mission was – it would be like I was shot out of a gun. But, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing so I’m just going to be lazy and do nothing – from this, comes the depression.
– Phil Stutz on what depressed people say to him in therapy | “Stutz”
He says that there is something that will apply to you which leads to you not knowing what you should do next. The answer to this is that you can, and should, always work on your Life Force.
The only way to find out what you should be doing and who you are is to activate your life force. Your life force is the only part of you that is actually capable of guiding you when you are lost. There are three levels to it. It’s a pyramid.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Working on your Life Force is about passion. Passion for yourself and connecting to you. Passion about getting better and moving in the right way. If you just do this – everything will fall into place.
The three levels to your Life Force pyramid are:
Your relationship with your physical body
Your relationship with other people
Your relationship with yourself
Life Force: the relationship with your physical body
Stutz says that when starting therapy or in general when one starts out to get better, the ‘body’ area of your Life Force amounts to about 85% of your initial progress. Your relationship with your body is based on your diet, exercise and sleep. Almost always, when someone goes to Stutz for therapy, they are not exercising, they have a poor diet and their sleep is off.
Hill says that
When I was a kid, diet and exercise was framed to me as ‘there is something wrong with how you look.’ Never once was it framed to me as it is something that you can do to improve your mental health. I wish that was presented to people differently because for me that caused a lot of problems. Even with my Mom, when my weight and image was presented to me I responded with a ‘fuck you!’ because I took it as being told there was something wrong with me and they way I looked.
– Jonah Hill | “Stutz”
Life Force: your relationships with other people
Stutz believed that people, as you are one, are the glue that holds you to the world. He states that:
When one gets depressed, it’s not that they end their relationships, it’s more like it’s a ship that sails over the horizon and it’s hard to pull it back. At the same time, relationships are like the hand holds on a mountain that you need to hold onto to stay safe and be able to get up. Relationships let you pull yourself back into life. The key, though, is that you need to take the initiative. You cannot wait for your relationships to improve, start or spark back up. You need to organise and go for that coffee with someone that is boring. It doesn’t matter, it will affect you anyway, in a positive way.
Just one person represents the whole human race for you symbolically.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Life Force: the relationship with yourself
This is the highest tier in your Life Force. It involves getting yourself into a relationship with your unconscious.
nobody knows what is in their unconscious until you activate it.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
An easy way to do this is to write. Writing is like a mirror that reflects what is going on in your unconscious mind. When you write, things will come out in your unconscious that you didn’t know were there, and you are forced to address them. Why? Well, you’ve just written it down right in front of your own eyes. Yes, YOU. You wrote down THAT. Now process it and deal with it.
Stutz says the reason he came up with the Life Force tool and the reason it works is that he believes once someone walks into his office for the first time and then leaves it, they should leave knowing they have a plan and actions that will allow them to see improvements quickly. Working on your Life Force does just that.
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number two: Part X
You directly face Part X when adversity comes. It is the judgemental and anti-social part of you. It’s an invisible force that wants to block your progress and potential. It’s the villain in your story.
Part X wants to fuck up your shit. Part X gives you a continual and very specific dossier about who you are and what you are capable of – it creates a primal fear in human beings. Specifically to Stutz, Part X tells him that he is “wasting his time. All the things he has done and created are great but will never spread deeply enough and do anything.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
In response to Jonah Hill’s question “how do you defeat Part X?”, Stutz says:
You can’t. That’s why you have three aspects of reality that nobody gets to avoid:
Pain
Uncertainty
Constant work
These are things you have to live with. No matter what. If you could simply banish Part X, there would be no progress. In your story – if you could just get rid of this villain Part X, there would be no hero and therefore no story. In Hill’s words:
“there would be no change, no bravery, no courageousness. We need the negativity of Part X otherwise we would not grow”.
– Jonah Hill | “Stutz”
What actually makes you happy in life, Stutz says, is learning how, and dealing with, the three aforementioned inevitable aspects of reality. And, if you teach someone to do that, you can change their whole life.
The highest form of creative expression for a human being is to create something in the face of adversity. And the worse the adversity, the greater the opportunity.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number three: String of Pearls
The necklace of pearls, he admitted, is a weird concept.
We need to know, Stutz said, that “I am the one who puts the next pearl on the string.”
This is the only form of motivation that really matters.
Each pearl on your string matters. Equally, too. Each pearl, to you, is each thing, ever.
Each success. Each failure. Each setback. Each time you get out of bed. Each time you make a meal. Each time you turn up. Each anything. All you need to know is that
I am the one who puts the next pearl on my string.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Stutz believed that true confidence lies in moving forward. Note: this should not be, although commonly is, mistaken for moving upwards.
In order to move forward you have to be willing to:
Take a risk
Act with some degree of faith
Eat up any consequences that may come from acting
Simply work the cycle, complete the iterations and put your next pearl on the string.
In every one of those circles (the pearls), there is a smaller circle. These were coined the ‘turds’ by Stutz.
In every little thing you ever do, it will not be perfect. Everything you think is perfect, or even good will have something bad in it.
This is also a key concept to understand and accept in any realm of human endeavour. Whether that is in business as I aim to do with my company 18.agency or with innovation as Becky Downing of neu21 says here.
To be trite: without the rain – we would not appreciate the sun. Without chaos, there would be no order for us to create. This is a constant rule.
This is why you always have to act with some degree of faith.
You have to admit – with every action you take, constantly – ‘I am not sure if this thing I want to do, and that I am going to do, will work. It might also just not work, or work and be bad or not what I wanted. But, I am going to do it anyway.’
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Therefore, the winner and the happy man are the same in their actions. In that, they are the people willing to take a risk.
“I am the one who puts the next pearl on the string.”
Your shadow is the part of you that you are ashamed of and hide from the world.
To work on your shadow – you need to see it, you need a visual of it. To do this, Stutz takes Hill through his visualisation method:
Close your eyes. Visualise a time in your life when you felt inferior, embarrassed, rejected, despondent, and ashamed. A part of you that you wish you were not, but you are, and you can’t get rid of.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Whatever your brain conjures up, the question is – what do you do with that image in the present moment?
Well, talk to your shadow and ask him how he feels about you and how you have treated him.
For example, Hill states that his shadow says
you denied my existence and felt shame at it. You made me feel angry, hurt and upset.
– Jonah Hill on his shadow | “Stutz”
Stutz believes the shadow needs attention. Not attention from the world – like an academy award. The only being whose attention matters to your shadow is you.
The next step is to ask your shadow what you can do to make up for not giving any attention to him for such a long time.
Hill responds
he says to include him in my life. Share my life with him. Celebrate with him. Be proud of him. Like in a social setting where you’re not acknowledging someone exists. Not only do I know to acknowledge that this person exists, but that they are a beautiful part of you.
– Jonah Hill on his shadow | “Stutz”
“Okay Jonah, now open your eyes.”
This tool is good for confronting things. Whether you need to make a presentation, prepare for going on a date, have low self-esteem or self-image or something along those lines.
The goal is to use this tool to uncover things and tolerate whatever happens. It’s the process of relating to that which you need to pay attention to.
The idea of being in sync with your shadow allows you to become whole.
I don’t need anything else – I am whole the way I am.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number five: The Snapshot (the realm of illusion)
This tool ties in with Part X. In fact, Stutz says that Part X actually creates the ‘perfect snapshot’.
It’s simply an image in your mind. The issue though is in that the image is ‘perfect’.
Whether it be the perfect job, the perfect wedding, the perfect family, or whatever you’re aiming towards at the moment.
Stutz asks Jonah to think about what a snapshot actually is: a still image that has no depth. Well, that’s what our brain creates and ultimately cripples us with.
People tell themselves that they cannot do the thing they want until their snapshot is perfect.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Remember the three aspects of reality that we cannot change?
1. Pain will never go away
2. Uncertainty will never go away
3. There is no getting away from the need for constant work.
No matter what, everybody has to live like this.
And, to deal with this fact, people work towards or stay crippled by their perfect snapshot.
And, even if you do get there, perhaps earlier than you expected, too, you don’t feel good for doing so. As you realise the snapshot wasn’t perfect and was indeed a still image with no depth.
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number six: The Maze
The Maze is yet another project of the infamous villain in your life Part X.
Stutz says that Part X always wants ‘fairness’. Therefore, The Maze always involves other people in your life.
A classic example is when somebody only wants to think and talk about another person. What you are telling yourself is “I will move past this once they make up for whatever it is they’ve done to mistreat me.”
That quest for ‘fairness’ puts your life on hold and Stutz says that:
Time is fleeting and we don’t have enough time for that bullshit.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Jonah Hill, on The Maze, says:
“I feel like I spent my whole fucking life in The Maze. Being stuck on not being paid back on something I felt was unfair. Wasted hours, days, months, years of my life that I can’t get back.”
– Jonah Hill on The Maze | “Stutz”
The average person wants to have been paid back and to have made everything fair and balanced. But, you’re not going to get it from anyone else.
The only way in your control that allows you to feel like you’ve been paid is through Active Love.
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number seven: Active Love
Here we go guys – another close-your-eyes instruction from Phil Stutz.
“Close your eyes. Imagine you’re surrounded by a universe completely made out of love. I know it sounds nuts but just shut the fuck up – do what I tell you and don’t prejudge. Let me paint the picture. It’s just a world full of loving energy. Feel yourself taking in all of the love in the universe. Now gently but firmly place all of the love in the universe in your heart. Right at that moment, you are the principal leader of love in the whole universe. Now – you want to see this one person that you feel all of your anger resentment and hate towards and send all of this concentrated love towards this person. Hold nothing back. Give everything. You don’t just see this – you must feel all the love enter them, from you. At that moment you should think ‘if I can become one with this bastard, I can become one with anybody.'”
The Active Love tool isn’t for you to love somebody you hate. Or even forgive them. It’s not for the other person at all. It’s to make you feel whole and free you from The Maze and be able to move forward.
Do you want to be right or do you want to move forward? Life is moving forward. If you want to waste your days in The Maze, that’s fine, but you can’t get those back.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Stutz ends his explanations on his tool The Maze by stating that all his tools and methods revolve around a variant of “hey schmuck, take action, no matter how frightened you are.”
Which, consequently, reminds Jonah Hill about another tool to segway into…
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number eight: Radical Acceptance
Stutz’s tool Radical Acceptance is about ‘squeezing the juice.’ By that, he means finding something meaningful in everything and ultimately moving away from any reflex or reaction that is negative.
The rules in the Radical Acceptance tool are that:
1. You are not allowed to make any negative judgements.
2. You are not allowed to tell yourself anything negative.
3. You need to find a positive.
‘Squeezing the juice’ requires some faith that there is indeed something valuable for you to find and also requires you to have the will to find it.
You need to look at all events as having value, if you can do that, then you’re in a zone of tremendous opportunity.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Jonah Hill instantly replies to Stutz that that was a ‘Stutz greatest hit’ and a ‘mic drop’. He then goes on to explain how he used the Radical Acceptance tool the night before they recorded the scene in mention.
Last night I was having an anxiety attack and couldn’t sleep. Instead of having more anxiety about how I’m not getting enough sleep for the next day of work, I used Radical Acceptance to use that time to come up with more new ideas for the shoot today.
– Jonah Hill on the Radical Acceptance tool | “Stutz”
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number nine: The Grateful Flow
Part X (that guy again) wants you to be negative.
The reality is that your reality is almost always wrong. Or at the very least not right.
There is always the sun up there. Just sometimes Part X puts a black cloud in front of it and makes it seem as if it’s nowhere to be found.
Using Stutz’s tool The Grateful Flow allows you to pierce the black cloud with gratitude.
Gratitude allows you to always have the sensation and feeling that there’s something good up there, beyond what you can currently see.
Ready for another Phil Stutz eye-closing tool session? In 3, 2, 1…
“Close your eyes. Say two, three and at the most four things that you are grateful for. The smaller the thing, the better, as it forces you to concentrate your gratitude.”
Jonah Hill’s things he was grateful for in this Phil Stutz closed-eye session were:
“I’m grateful for my nephews.”
“I’m grateful for surfing.”
“I’m grateful for my dogs.”
“I’m grateful for you.”
Stutz says the next thing you should do is keep naming things in your brain. Keep that flow of gratitude going. Then, when you next go to create a grateful thought – don’t. Block it. And allow that energy to just sit. As it gets stronger, allow yourself to feel taken over by it and consumed.
That’s the Grateful Flow.
Hill said that after doing that he “felt everything slow down and a warmth of comfort.”
Stutz says that the key is to make it a creative act and not say the same things over and over. When you have to dig to find things – that process will transform you.
Gratitude is not thinking ‘well I’m lucky’, it’s the state you want to be in as often as possible because it breaks you through the cloud and takes you to a different world. Part X tells you constantly that you shouldn’t be grateful and that you’re screwed. The Grateful Flow cuts through this.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
Phil Stutz’s therapy tool number ten: Loss Processing
People are obviously very bad at processing and dealing with losses.
Stutz’s tool, Loss Processing, is what it says on the tin – a tool that allows you to process a loss.
The goal is to get what’s called the ‘potency of non-attachment’. This means that you can still pursue something – but be willing to lose it or not have it entirely.
Stutz says the first step is to picture something, whatever it is, that you’re afraid to let go of or have something terrible happen to it.
Now imagine you’re grasping onto it like it’s a thin branch on a tree stopping you from falling. You’re afraid to let go. But, you do, despite your fear. What you experience is a fall that is actually kind of slow and gentle, to your surprise, but you’re still dropping down.
You have to say to yourself with genuine intent: ‘I am willing to lose everything’
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
And, as you say that, you hit the sun at the bottom of where you were falling which causes your body to burn up.
Now – you have lost everything. You are just one sunbeam away from losing your instrument of possession: your body.
Now, despite losing that which you didn’t want to lose but accepted you will, you’re radiating outwards a loving sensation. Then you look around and see an infinite number of other suns, just like yours, radiating outwards too. Lastly, you hear the suns all say in unison “we are everywhere”.
“This world is called a sun world. All you can do is give. You can’t take. You can’t hold onto anything. It’s impossible.”
Stutz says that you’re not trying to be non-attached, you’re simply working towards accepting non-attachment in the fear of loss.
Again, the theme here is on making yourself whole.
Stutz’s secret to life
Lucy Ford of GQ calls Stutz the ‘antidote to social media self-therapising‘. This review, amongst the dozens I have read, finds a way to irritate me. Perhaps due to the nature of any review taking something so perspicaciously impactful and coining it in a headline. Similarly, I cannot review Stutz in a headline, a sentence or even two, without deleting it or slapping myself. There are no words to describe the beauty and benefit that Stutz has and will have on the world of mental illness, psychology and therapy. Ask yourself: if everyone was taught the tools of Stutz and how to use them, would they be better people and the world a better place? Anyone who would answer no, please email me and we will do a podcast!
Jonah Hill concludes Stutz, incredibly emotionally and in retrospect after discussing these tools and the impact they’ve had on his life and therapeutic journey, that he’s accomplished a whole new outlook on everything.
In an absurd way – which actually made Phil Stutz laugh out loud – Hill claims that with Stutz’s tools, he now no longer thinks the people he looks up to are absolved of the exact same problems he has.
It’s important to remember that the people you look up to and the people who may seem or portray that they have everything together are not exempt from the things we deal with and are in the same battle of being human.
Stutz says that indeed is the secret of life.
The secret of life is accepting that you won’t figure it out, ever, and nobody else will figure it out, ever. Happiness depends on how you accept that and what you do about it. But, if you don’t accept it, your mind will always aim to get over it, under it or eliminate it, and you can’t.
– Phil Stutz | “Stutz”
At the end of “Stutz”, Phil Stutz asks Jonah Hill to introduce the movie and outro it in one take:
I’m making this movie because I want to give therapy, and the tools I’ve learned in therapy, to as many people as possible, through a film. I made this movie, because I love Phil, because I love the life these tools allowed for me to have, and it doesn’t matter what people think about the movie, it just matters that we finished it, together.
– Jonah Hill’s intro and outro to Stutz | “Stutz”
Stutz, then, in typical Stutz fashion, replies with an “I love you” rapidly followed up by an “I wish you’d stop dumping your shit on me, though!”
Reviews for Stutz:
“The film is tender, funny, and surprising – not only does Hill break the “fourth wall,” but at one point, breaks into a fourth dimension. It’s a magnificent work of art—made of crayons, perfume, and transcendence. A love letter to a beloved teacher, friend, and visionary.” —Jamie Rose, Tools coach
“A portrait of affection.” —Lisa Kennedy, The New York Times
”Easy though it’d be for Hill’s documentary to feel like a navel-gazing vanity project, Stutz ultimately lands as an earnest attempt to democratize the life-affirming tools he’s gained from therapy – and a tribute to his titular therapist.” —Shaun Munro, Flickering Myth
“Jonah Hill’s therapy documentary is raw, uncomfortable, and deeply moving.” —Anna Menta, Decider
“In a vacuum of so much vapid self-help entertainment, Stutz feels like the rare outlier that breaks through the noise and takes root.” —Cory Woodroof, 615 Film
“A calming and poignant documentary that in itself is a humorous, vulnerable, and ultimately therapeutic experience.” —Romey Norton, Ready Steady Cut
“This film has a worthy goal: to change the perspectives of people who might be hurting right now. For those willing to go with its flow, it has a real power.” – Noel Murray, Los Angeles Times
“Jonah Hill’s attempt at sharing a form of healing is an admirable one and he has a partner in Phil Stutz that is every bit the interesting subject as we become the listeners in the role of both patient and therapist ourselves.” – Erik Childress, Movie Madness Podcast
“If you need a shot of inspiration to pull you out of the blues, this is the film. Part biography, part therapy and lots of self-help combined with a likable yet flawed main character make this a film that will get you thinking, feeling and moving on.” – Julia Swift, My Champion Valley
"The philosophy and similarity of andrew tate and leonardo da vinci"
You’re going to have to bare with me on this one…
I’m unsure, at this moment of grasping this random idea and beginning to write it out if the fact that I am the first to make this connection is a good thing or not.
Actually, that’s neither here nor there. I think my interest in this ‘connection’ between two very different figures is that it is indeed random and odd. But, the connection is in a philosophy that I personally admire and hold dear to my own philosophies.
So, semantics aside regarding these two (Andrew, mainly, just for cancellation proofing purposes although I’m sure if Da Vinci was around in today’s era of TikTok a few might call him a trebuchet shagging bigot too, for whatever reason) – let’s talk about this philosophy.
Da Vinci’s ‘key’
Ostinato rigore
Leonardo da Vinci was one of if not the greatest renaissance visionary who single-handedly propelled civilisation and its knowledge, technology, science and medicine ahead hundreds of years in a mere few decades.
What did he attribute this to?
Not to superior intellect, privilege or any specific strategies or morning routines.
He believed he was no greater or no different than any man, he simply completed more iterations and attempts towards his goals. Da Vinci was indefatigable.
His saying ‘ostinato rigore’ translates to rigorous persistence / stubborn rigour / tenacious application.
“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.”
Ostinato rigore was a standard he set for himself and a philosophy which held him accountable. Through ostinato rigore, Da Vinci was able to see any obstacle as a non-obstacle, any setback as part of the process, any failure as studious and, above all, enjoy the process of persisting.
“Learning never exhausts the mind.”
Once you accept persistence is necessary and that nothing will stop you, persistence becomes the norm and obstacles become background noise.
“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
Nothing matters bar learning and doing what you have learned. Applying, building, creating, growing. Because what else is there?
“All knowledge which ends in words will die as quickly as it came to life, with the exception of the written word: which is its mechanical part.”
Nothing gets in the way.
“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.”
Everything is exactly as it should be and exactly as it is.
Ostinato rigore is also why he believed that every student should surpass the master. In fact, if you don’t, you don’t only do yourself a disservice but your master, too.
“Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master.”
That makes sense, right? As, if you’re rigorously persisting and putting in the iterations, you will surpass anyone who is not. Let alone the master who may have slowed down or stopped. Alongside this, the knowledge you absorb from your master’s should be applied. The gained knowledge combined with the lessons learned from the application of said knowledge and your own experience and perceptions should mean that your master is indeed left behind sooner or later — unless your master is a master of all masters.
Understanding this, too, has allowed me personally to be ‘okay’ with ‘losing’ any mentors I have gained and held above me. If your mentors and masters do not get discarded and changed, how are you improving?
Maintaining the familiar faces of masters means only that you have installed a ceiling and have forgotten to wonder at the stars beyond it.
What has Andrew ‘Cobra’ Tate got to do with this?
Sheer indefatigability
All preconceptions, opinions and emotions have to be left at the period placed at the end of this italic sentence — we are exploring a person’s philosophy and thinking critically — if you cannot achieve this without staying stuck on the person themselves, then you should not study at all.
Emory Andrew Tate III, a figure that in recent times was the most googled person on the planet and rocketed to fame, can be easily misunderstood as an overnight success.
But do you think a man who entered the Big Brother house in 2016 and won his first world martial arts championship in 2011 only began thinking about infamy in 2022?
In fact, his father, Emory Andrew Tate Jr, the former chess champion is the key to Andrew’s philosophy I’m exploring here.
“My dad taught me everything. Absolutely everything.”
Tate Jr, as stated by Chess.com, could attribute his success to his ‘uncompromising style and indefatigable h-pawn throughout his multi-continental career.’
That word again eh? Well, it’s the opener of Tate Jr’s favourite quote:
“My unmatched perspicacity, coupled with my sheer indefatigability, combine to make me a feared opponent in any realm of human endeavour.”
Andrew’s father unfortunately and tragically passed away at a chess tournament at the age of 56. However, that quote, and his father’s life and philosophy had been passed on to Andrew and — of course with Tate’s virality — has gained the ears of people around the world.
Indefatigability = ostinato rigore
To be indefatigable simply means to not tire and comes from the Latin ‘indefatigabilis’. meaning: ‘that cannot be wearied’. From ‘in’ meaning: ‘not’. From ‘defatigare’ meaning: ‘to tire out’ and from ‘de’ meaning: ‘utterly, down, away’.
To be indefatigable means:
Never relenting.
Never tiring.
Being inexhaustible.
Never giving up.
Protracted effort despite the difficulty.
To keep on going regardless.
Well, in order to have rigorous persistence, you need to be indefatigable.
Rigorous meaning: Adhering strictly.
Persistence meaning: Continuing a course of action in spite of.
In order to strictly adhere to a standard of continuing on your course in spite of, you cannot relent, you cannot tire, you cannot give up, and you have to keep going regardless.
What I take away from this
My personal bias is that I love Leonardo Da Vinci. To me, he’s one of if not the most fascinating people to exist in human memory and one of if not the biggest genius of that time, too. Any person who could accomplish a small fraction of what Da Vinci achieved should be studied meticulously.
And I embarked on just that. Thanks to my ADHD I was ‘allowed’ by my brain to fixate on this man. When I did that, I discovered ostinato rigore. I will always remember exactly where I was when I did, too. I was at the Da Vinci museum in Venice when I translated his philosophies of ostinato rigore from the walls and exhibitions inside.
Da Vinci and Tate aside, I have learned through my own experiences in business, fitness and more generally speaking any realm of human endeavour that you pursue progress in, you simply cannot and will not succeed without rigorous persistence.
Ostinato rigore was Da Vinci’s ‘secret’ and the philosophy of great chess masters like Emory Tate Jr. I can guarantee, whether willfully or otherwise, this is the underlying and leading factor of all success. With only exceptions in anomalies. But fuck them. Anomalies are the kryptonite to academics.
Photo by me, at the entrance to the Leonardo da Vinci Museum in Venice. Campo S. Rocco, 3052, 30125 Venezia VE, Italy.
Me in the 360 octagonal mirror room reconstruction in the Venice Leonardo Da Vinci Museum. Da Vinci created the idea of this mirror room as the first way for a human to see all of a human without turning one’s head. Ultimately aiding in the studies of anatomy.
